When You Aren't Sure What You Want

Here are 5 key questions to experience relaxation, stillness, and peace while resting in the uncertainty of the unknown: [This is a contribution by Lynn Zavaro]-

 1. What if I didn’t have to search and know what I want right now?

Searching causes us to look for something “out there” in order to fill a perceived sense of lack, when what may serve us more right now is to simply be in the emptiness.  When something is ripe and ready, it will come to us as an insight, a direct “knowing,” as if from a higher place beyond the mind.  As if from nowhere, we feel in our hearts an unquestioning “Yes!”
In the effort of “trying to find,” we jut out into the future. Yet, it’s really in the present moment where we actually discover it.  Looking back, we realize there were many important things we learned.  It was all divinely perfect how it happened and came to be.

2. What if I didn’t have to force change to happen?

I used to love puzzles, but those 1,000+ piece puzzles, where all the pieces looked alike, freaked me out. I remember out of frustration picking up a piece and trying to force it to the fit in the puzzle.  You know exactly where this get's us.  We can’t force something to come, but we can set our intention for it.  I grew up wanting to be a fashion designer and here I am 30 years later designing my first fitness line.  It was one day, beyond my control, all the pieces came together for a moment and fit.

3. What if I focus on how I can help others?

Even if you don’t know exactly what you want next, you can start by helping other people, in a way that feels meaningful to you, and see where that leads you.  When we look at what we love doing and we combine it with the desire to help others, these two components come together and ignite like a match against a surface.

4. What if I could let go?

What if you could let go of the need to know it or discover it right now?  This is not about resolving yourself or giving up on a dream. But when we drop the grasping and the need to have it, we give ourselves some room to breathe.  Then we are freer to explore, to be inventive, and to create just for the pure sake of creating, without being attached to the dream having to come into form.  With some spaciousness, we feel more relaxed, and more able to meet the present moment and enjoy the process.

5. What if I could feel safe in the unknown?

Unfortunately, my mother who has cancer goes in and out of the hospital almost every three weeks for chemo treatments.  Every day when I see or speak to her, I get the same unbelievable attitude. While waiting for news from recent tests, she always surrenders to the unknown.
“Mom, how do you do this?” I asked wanting to learn. “Isn’t it hard to wait like this—in the unknown?”
As if I asked a silly question, she responded quickly, “That’s what we all do, Lynn, all the time. That’s what life is.”  “How did you get so wise?” I asked. “How can you be so patient?”
“That’s all we can do,” she responded. “We have no other choice. One step at a time”
For my Mom, it’s more like “Don’t sweat the big stuff.” The small details are where she can gain some sort of control.  She likes her coffee poured two inches into the cup and microwaved for thirty seconds. Her day planner, Chapstick, and crossword puzzles are stacked neatly to the left on the hospital bedside table, and the phone sits on the bed next to her hip for easy access.
She always put out a bowl of mini Snickers, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, and Three Musketeers, as a gesture of gratitude for the hospital staff, doctors, and nurses.  Doing what she can, creating a simple daily structure within the uncertainy of the unknown makes her feel safe.  During a time of uncertainty, remind yourself to let go of the big stuff and focus instead on what is in front of you now.
I admirably think of my mom, determined to build her strength daily by walking rounds, smiling and carting her chemo drip on the hospital floor. It reminds me of what life is all about:  “One step at a time,” as my wise mother says. That’s how we experience the uncertainty of the unknown.  So, what small step might you take? What simple thing might you do to embrace the fullness of your life today?

“You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word.” Psalm 119:114