Top Her Couture

"And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free"  JOHN 8:32 Honesty is a characteristic that is slowly dying in this day and age.  So many of us in the fast lane thinking we can leave our wrongs curbside and speed into the distance with no consequence.  Many of us constantly [not only lying to ourselves] but to others to avoid dealing with the pains.  Usually the pains we ourselves have caused.  We form a constant boundary of victimization and masks hoping it will disappear as soon as we are on to the next thing and/or person. Being able to talk openly and honestly to others about ourselves reflects self-responsibility.  It takes away the power of those wrongs, helps to release the pain, and allows us an indescribable freedom.  It allows us to stop playing the victim of our own circumstance and feeling sorry for ourselves.  It is a leap to becoming healthy and happy.  The more clear and specific we are with others, ourse...

Today, I will rally my own cause.  I will remember that it is okay to stand up for myself when that action is appropriate.  Help me, God, to let go of my need to be victimized.  Help me appropriately, and with confidence, stand up for myself. It is easy to want to fight other peoples' battles especially when it is someone we care about.  We often give them advise like,"stand up for yourself"; yet we rarely use these words for ourselves.  Walking our kind & loving path we may come across situations [often] that put us deeper into the hand of those who could mistreat us or continue to mistreat us.  Set healthy boundaries.  Use each situation as a learning experience.  Do not give up on your morals and what is right!  Always remember the things that are most important to you and don't allow people to violate them-deal breakers!  If you have a strong belief in monogamy, don't settle for a cheater.  If you have a strong belief i...

Well, it's that time of year again.  The time where we set new goals for ourselves-most call these New Years resolutions.  This year an acquaintance made a good point about these "resolutions".  The fact is, most resolutions are short lived as they are focusing on a past behavior, time, or shortcoming.  With intentions, we are looking to a future goal [whether short or long term].  This is the year of intentions! For years, I have set resolutions.  Many of the time not completely following through or finding more disappointments than goal achieving.  Resolutions often set one up for failure and we then tend to find ourselves in a downward spiral.  What I have realized is that many of the resolutions we seek or set are things that may not be something to fix.  Yes, we make mistakes.  There are times in life where we are enough.  We don't need fixing or counseling or business. . .sometimes there are NO answers!  We find ours...

"Now this is the commandment-the statues and the rules-that the Lord your God commanded me to teach you, that you may do them in the land to which you are going over to possess it, that you may fear the Lord your God, you and your son and your son's sons, by keeping all his statues and his commandments, which I command you, all the days of your life, and that your days may be long.  Hear therefore, O Israel, and be careful to do them, that it may go well with you, and that you may multiply greatly, as the Lord, the God of your fathers, has promised you, in a land flowing with milk and honey."  Deuteronomy 6:1-3 "Cheap grace means living as though God ignores or condones our sins. But forgiveness means that sin is real, and must be dealt with. We cannot ignore it, because God does not ignore it. The denial of sin is not grace: it is a lie. Cheap grace means living without the demand of obedience upon us.   And where there is no call for obedience, then all thing...

“We may have all come in different ships, but we’re in the same boat now.” ~Martin Luther King Jr. I once had a totally commonplace, uneventful thought that transformed the way I viewed relationships. I’m not sure that it was mine; it certainly wasn’t anything groundbreaking or unique. I may have read it somewhere, I can’t remember now. It was the notion that when two people in a relationship think of themselves as on the same team, things get much easier. Positive feelings grow freely. Score-keeping and resentment are nonexistent. Insights are very personal—a simple phrase that turns my world upside down might do absolutely nothing for you, and vice versa. Perhaps this notion was so life-changing for me because I grew up surrounded by people who seemed self-focused, always looking for where they had been wronged. They weren’t selfish or egotistical people. They were insecure people. My father had insecurities that led him to make everything about himself—if you didn’t say the right ...

"Life a father, God never gives up on us, even in our disobedience.  But just because He forgives, we can't take advantage by forgetting He is still Lord of the universe or by treating Him without respect.  Because He loves us, He doesn't hold sin against us, but our Lord disciplines unrepentant children.  If He didn't so that, He wouldn't be our Father."

"Has prayer become mechanical, a chore instead of a joy?  Remember how beloved you are by the One you're speaking to.  He doesn't want to hear details of just anyone's life-He asked you to share with Him, and you're blessed to know His love." Prayer is meant to develop and grow in our relationship with God.  With any good and connected relationship, it is the time we spend with that person.  It is our whole-hearted self being selfless [even if for just a moment in time].  It is giving up our ego, wants, and materialistic ways to touch and be touched profoundly!

"We are so preciously loved by God that we cannot comprehend it.  No created being can ever know how much and how sweetly and how tenderly God loves them." What we can do is accept the abundance of love around us.  We all have an infinite source to tap into.  We just have to choose to see it and let it in.

"Finish every day and be done with it.  You have done what you could. . . . Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense.  This day is all that is good and fair.  It is too dear, with its hopes and invitations, to waste a moment on yesterday." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Amazing grace!  How Sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me!  I once was lost, but now am found; Was blind, but now I see." ~ John Newton Grace is not a gift we all choose to receive.  In fact, many of us clumsily fall over [or for] whatever might be on our path.  We hardly stop to think about the consequences of our attitudes, actions, or reactions.  Allowing Grace into our life requires us to first have a relationship with God.  This will help to lead us to other wholesome relationships and allow us to have Grace to see other hearts.  To see past labels, accusations, hurts, and habits.

If you are having doubts about a relationship, please let me assure you the answers you seek are within you. You just may be allowing fear to muffle your inner voice. The following are 30 questions that can help you achieve more clarity about your relationship—what’s working, what’s not, and why. Please keep in mind there are no wrong or right answers, just insightful ones: 1. Do you completely trust each other? 2. Do you believe in soul mates, and if so, do you believe you are each other’s? 3. When was the last time you said, “I love you?” If it’s been a while, why? 4. Are you satisfied with the intimacy you share? 5. How often do you laugh together? 6. Do you feel you have made personal sacrifices for your relationship, and have they been reciprocated? 7. When you think of your partner, do you smile? 8. Do you feel threatened when others find your partner attractive, and why? 9. Do you believe your partner is your biggest advocate? 10. How do you feel about your partner’s views on ...

"This life is not all.  It is an 'unfinished symphony'. . . with him who knows that he is related to God and has felt 'the power of an endless life'." ~Henry Ward Beecher Today marks the beginning of lent [as well as Valentine's Week].  It is a time to let go, give in to fears, and renew ourselves.  Sure, we can give up chocolate or shopping or other material things; but what if we give in to deeper urges.  The ones that keep us from really building meaningful relationships.  The wounds that restrain our hearts.  The same aspects which hold us back from the 'endless life'.  Life is uncertain. . .don't wait for the only certainty of bodily death to grasp the important moments. "Don’t wait for the perfect moment. Take the moment and make it perfect. "

"Happiness is a sunbeam. . . . When it strikes a kindred heart, like the converged lights upon a mirror, it reflects with redoubled brightness.  It is not perfected until shared." ~Jane Porter Share a smile with someone.  Make it contagious.  Never know, that one smile could change someone's life!

"When I know what it is to abide in Christ and to yield to the Holy Spirit, I begin to learn that God will give power in answer to prayer." Andrew Murray Prayer is not meant to get what we want; it is to answer with what we need.  Sometimes we do not like the answer and sometimes the answer confuses us more because it was not the answer we were expecting.  Take away all expectations when God is at your door step and realize He knows what is best for us.  The gift of change is sitting at your doorstep.

"The Lord's chief desire is to reveal Himself to you and, in order for Him to do that, He gives you abundant grace.  The Lord gives you the experience of enjoying His presence.  He touches you, and His touch is so delightful that, more than ever, you are drawn inwardly to Him." Madame Jeanne Guyon

"We walk without fear, full of hope and courage and strength to do His will, waiting for the endless good which He is always giving as fast as He can get us able to take it in." ~George MacDonald Being open to God seems to be a foreign concept in today's society.  We have become so egocentric and selfish, there is barely any room for God to work His will.  There are even less willing to enable themselves for this gift.  Many of us are bred to think we have to do everything by ourselves and choose to build walls that keep out the contrary.  We often sabotage ourselves and end up living unhappy and lonely lives; but we do not have to.  Have the strength to get passed what you think you know.  Let go of ego and the societal norm.  Walk down the path less traveled and let God's will rule your heart, mind, and soul.  realize, you are never alone. . .together we can do what we can never do alone.

"That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend will all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; and to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God." Ephesians 3:17-19

"Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world, but be transformed  by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - His good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans  12:2

"If only we could trust God perfectly each day and rise constantly up, higher on the mountains. . . . We'd like to think that's an ideal Christian experience.  But our spiritual landscape does not consist simply of mountains.  Valleys lie between uplands.  And without the valleys, there would be no mountains at all."

"When we reach out in faith  to someone and don't get a positive response, do we recognize that we're speaking to a spiritually deaf soul? . . . Kindness in the face of opposition may begin the work that opens deaf ears and lightens blind eyes.  Let's start to unclog ears and lighten darkness."