Top Her Couture

"And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free"  JOHN 8:32 Honesty is a characteristic that is slowly dying in this day and age.  So many of us in the fast lane thinking we can leave our wrongs curbside and speed into the distance with no consequence.  Many of us constantly [not only lying to ourselves] but to others to avoid dealing with the pains.  Usually the pains we ourselves have caused.  We form a constant boundary of victimization and masks hoping it will disappear as soon as we are on to the next thing and/or person. Being able to talk openly and honestly to others about ourselves reflects self-responsibility.  It takes away the power of those wrongs, helps to release the pain, and allows us an indescribable freedom.  It allows us to stop playing the victim of our own circumstance and feeling sorry for ourselves.  It is a leap to becoming healthy and happy.  The more clear and specific we are with others, ourse...

Today, I will rally my own cause.  I will remember that it is okay to stand up for myself when that action is appropriate.  Help me, God, to let go of my need to be victimized.  Help me appropriately, and with confidence, stand up for myself. It is easy to want to fight other peoples' battles especially when it is someone we care about.  We often give them advise like,"stand up for yourself"; yet we rarely use these words for ourselves.  Walking our kind & loving path we may come across situations [often] that put us deeper into the hand of those who could mistreat us or continue to mistreat us.  Set healthy boundaries.  Use each situation as a learning experience.  Do not give up on your morals and what is right!  Always remember the things that are most important to you and don't allow people to violate them-deal breakers!  If you have a strong belief in monogamy, don't settle for a cheater.  If you have a strong belief i...

Well, it's that time of year again.  The time where we set new goals for ourselves-most call these New Years resolutions.  This year an acquaintance made a good point about these "resolutions".  The fact is, most resolutions are short lived as they are focusing on a past behavior, time, or shortcoming.  With intentions, we are looking to a future goal [whether short or long term].  This is the year of intentions! For years, I have set resolutions.  Many of the time not completely following through or finding more disappointments than goal achieving.  Resolutions often set one up for failure and we then tend to find ourselves in a downward spiral.  What I have realized is that many of the resolutions we seek or set are things that may not be something to fix.  Yes, we make mistakes.  There are times in life where we are enough.  We don't need fixing or counseling or business. . .sometimes there are NO answers!  We find ours...

Let us be thankful for every trial that will help to destroy our earthly chariots and that will compel us to take refuge in the chariot of God, which stands ready and waiting beside us in every event and circumstance of life.

The maturity of Christian experience cannot be reached in a moment but is the result of the work of God's Holy Spirit who, by His energizing and transforming power, causes us to grow up into Christ in all things . "Be no longer children, but grow in Christ."  Ephesians 4:14-15 If we are to grow in anything we must feed that skill with proper nutrients, spend time and effort to develop, and then apply it to every day activities, thoughts, and actions.  Sure, we may fail a few times or make mistakes-we're human!  It is what we learn from those mistakes and the changes we make in ourselves that allows us to move forward-to grow! Most of the time it requires us to sacrifice our ego and what we think we know and/or want for the unknown.  Take a chance on God and allow yourself to see things through His eyes and His heart.  With that, we can start to become mature through Him and allow Him to be our teacher.  The development of relations with Christ wil...

It's not enough that we cannot stop and ask for directions in such an independent driven society; but when we get the strength to ask, we seldom listen.  I have learned in the last few days [heck, six years] that people may ask for honesty; but when you give them the courtesy & respect of honesty, they seem to not be able to handle it.  Perhaps because it is such a foreign ideal they just can't wrap their head around it.  Perhaps ignorance to them is truly blissful.  Society sure enjoys a reassuring lie than the inconvenient honesty!  Whatever caged approach it may be, I commend those who share honesty.  The ones that can take a stand not just for themselves but for others.  The ones who take risks to call people out on their nonsense.  It shows so much integrity and respect. Along with that comes the art of conversation-breeding a nation of passive aggressive people.  I know, I've been caught up in world wide web.  The idea of...

"And it holds, my anchor holds; blow your wildest then, O gale, On my bark so small and frail, By His grace I shall not fail, For my anchor holds, My anchor holds." ~W.C. Martin There are pros and cons to every decision we make in life as well as consequences [some big, some small, some mistakes, some worth it].  When we make choices, it is important to realize that if the choice is right, the rewards will outweigh the fears [even as we second guess the decision].  We will be able to open a new door and move forward.  We will be able to take a chance and walk in good faith.  Not only will we have God as our anchor, but we will then become someone else's anchor.  A sturdy foundation to build!  Nothing is impossible with God!!

"Beauty is the mark God sets on virtue.  Every natural action is graceful; every heroic act is also decent, and causes the place and the bystanders to shine." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Allow yourself to feel angry .  You may think you need to cover “negative feelings” with positive ones. You don’t. You’re entitled to feel whatever you need to feel. We all are. Make a conscious choice to sit with the feeling .  Oftentimes when I’m angry I feel the need to act on it, but later I generally wish I’d waited. Decide that you’re not going to do anything until the feeling has less of a grip on you. Feel the anger in your body .  Is your neck tense? Is your chest burning? Is your throat tightening? Are your legs twitching? Recognize the sensations in your body and breathe into those areas to clear the blockages that are keeping you feeling stuck. See this as an exercise in self-soothing .  You can get yourself all revved-up, stewing in righteousness and mentally rehashing all the ways you were wronged. Or you can talk yourself down from bitter rage into a place of inner calm. In the end, we’re the only ones responsible for our mental states, so this i...

“We may have all come in different ships, but we’re in the same boat now.” ~Martin Luther King Jr. I once had a totally commonplace, uneventful thought that transformed the way I viewed relationships. I’m not sure that it was mine; it certainly wasn’t anything groundbreaking or unique. I may have read it somewhere, I can’t remember now. It was the notion that when two people in a relationship think of themselves as on the same team, things get much easier. Positive feelings grow freely. Score-keeping and resentment are nonexistent. Insights are very personal—a simple phrase that turns my world upside down might do absolutely nothing for you, and vice versa. Perhaps this notion was so life-changing for me because I grew up surrounded by people who seemed self-focused, always looking for where they had been wronged. They weren’t selfish or egotistical people. They were insecure people. My father had insecurities that led him to make everything about himself—if you didn’t say the right ...

"Beauty is the mark God sets on virtue.  Every natural action is graceful; every heroic act is also decent, and causes the place and the bystanders to shine." Ralph Waldo Emerson Happy Easter weekend everyone!!

"Life a father, God never gives up on us, even in our disobedience.  But just because He forgives, we can't take advantage by forgetting He is still Lord of the universe or by treating Him without respect.  Because He loves us, He doesn't hold sin against us, but our Lord disciplines unrepentant children.  If He didn't so that, He wouldn't be our Father."

"Has prayer become mechanical, a chore instead of a joy?  Remember how beloved you are by the One you're speaking to.  He doesn't want to hear details of just anyone's life-He asked you to share with Him, and you're blessed to know His love." Prayer is meant to develop and grow in our relationship with God.  With any good and connected relationship, it is the time we spend with that person.  It is our whole-hearted self being selfless [even if for just a moment in time].  It is giving up our ego, wants, and materialistic ways to touch and be touched profoundly!

"Finish every day and be done with it.  You have done what you could. . . . Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense.  This day is all that is good and fair.  It is too dear, with its hopes and invitations, to waste a moment on yesterday." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Amazing grace!  How Sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me!  I once was lost, but now am found; Was blind, but now I see." ~ John Newton Grace is not a gift we all choose to receive.  In fact, many of us clumsily fall over [or for] whatever might be on our path.  We hardly stop to think about the consequences of our attitudes, actions, or reactions.  Allowing Grace into our life requires us to first have a relationship with God.  This will help to lead us to other wholesome relationships and allow us to have Grace to see other hearts.  To see past labels, accusations, hurts, and habits.

If you are having doubts about a relationship, please let me assure you the answers you seek are within you. You just may be allowing fear to muffle your inner voice. The following are 30 questions that can help you achieve more clarity about your relationship—what’s working, what’s not, and why. Please keep in mind there are no wrong or right answers, just insightful ones: 1. Do you completely trust each other? 2. Do you believe in soul mates, and if so, do you believe you are each other’s? 3. When was the last time you said, “I love you?” If it’s been a while, why? 4. Are you satisfied with the intimacy you share? 5. How often do you laugh together? 6. Do you feel you have made personal sacrifices for your relationship, and have they been reciprocated? 7. When you think of your partner, do you smile? 8. Do you feel threatened when others find your partner attractive, and why? 9. Do you believe your partner is your biggest advocate? 10. How do you feel about your partner’s views on ...

"Happiness is a sunbeam. . . . When it strikes a kindred heart, like the converged lights upon a mirror, it reflects with redoubled brightness.  It is not perfected until shared." ~Jane Porter Share a smile with someone.  Make it contagious.  Never know, that one smile could change someone's life!

"Sanctification is both a step of faith and a process off works.  It is a step of surrender and trust on our part, and it is a process of development on God's part." It is important for each of us to recognize we are worthy of this process.  So many of us [especially during this holiday season] seem to find sadness, depression, and loneliness in its most pure form.  Be sure that no matter what darkness is tugging at you, there is someone sending you light and love.  Be confident that God's love is always there as a guiding light.  You are not alone and are always loved.   And for those that have this light; share it!  Smile at a stranger, say a prayer, donate time or gifts, pay for the person's coffee in front of you. . . .How ever you decide to spread the cheer, do it with your whole heart!

"Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world, but be transformed  by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - His good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans  12:2

"If only we could trust God perfectly each day and rise constantly up, higher on the mountains. . . . We'd like to think that's an ideal Christian experience.  But our spiritual landscape does not consist simply of mountains.  Valleys lie between uplands.  And without the valleys, there would be no mountains at all."